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i was born and raised in the midwest a small city in northeast indiana. my mom moved there from texas by way of kokomo, indiana. my mom must of had a hard life because it was hard pleasing her, hard to get affection from her etc,. i grew up wanting nothing more than two things, one to get out of my mothers house and two to be the first female in the NBA. only one became a reality. my mom moved a lot when i was in grade school not really sure why but it didnt matter we never questioned our mother about any decision she made we just did what she asked, always. moving so much at a young age made it difficult keeping friends, i didn't have an issue making them just keeping in touch. i think i developed a way to block things out as a kid because most people i dont remember i guess my mind would close that chapter after so long as a defensive thing i dont know. i am the youngest of five kids i grew up with four. being the youngest i got the usual blame the usual duties etc,. from a kid to a teenager was a weird transition for me only because i felt i was always older than my age,my closest sibling was five years older than me. i would watch and step lightly around them absorbing everything they did. i stayed out of trouble at home but school was a whole different story. i was bullied at a young age so i became a bully myself by the fifth grade. the summer of my sixth grade year changed my life, i watched as someone drowned right in front of me and no matter what i did to help i couldnt ...i couldnt save him. i saw the world through differant eyes after that, i became more approachable more of a class clown more of an athlete. my mom said that the next person i would see die would prolly be myself if i kept up my ways. so i changed not really for me but for the kids i might have or the future i wished for everynight. i excepted all friends after that, nerds geeks preps etc,. we were all kool. people would ask me why do you speak to them i would simply say why not. no one ever questioned me much longer about the people i kept around me. i think i changed more so because when tyrone drowned i didn't know him very well but he seemed to know a lot about me. i remember telling my friends not to let him go to our swimming spot, but they said he followed anyway telling them i said it was ok. i notice now the influence i had on people around me even at a young age i could lead people, i think not knowing i even lead Ty to his demise. his death changed everyone that was there that day. i hide my anger from everyone not mad that he followed but mad that he forced me to be apart of his "suicide" i will never get the image of his body being pulled from out of the water NEVER. they said he had dug his hands under a huge rock and thats how they found him wrapped around a rock with his hands buried under it. after his death his family wanted answers, but i had none. i spoke very few words not wanting to say the wrong sumthing but my words fueled their concerns, even prompted them to accuse us of hurting him. we were 12.
